(Emma's favorite was Cut)
I finally made it to the Whitney after two years of thinking I'd really like to go, now that there are two artists on exhibit I'd read about, Lawrence Weiner and Kara Walker. Both were as fascinating as I'd hoped. (I also liked the room in the regular collection that featured paintings of modern anxiety.) The profile of Kara Walker in the New Yorker was really interesting to me, since it mentioned how she had started out not thinking much about her race and then sort of grew into it. (Foolishly, I thew out the magazine assuming it would be online, and it's not. You can get a little bit of a sense of it in this interview and in the Times.)
It's not quite the same, but I find it sort of strange that this is the first time in my life I've had Indian friends or really referred to my ethnicity in everyday conversation (notably the ongoing battle with Neil, Ak, Vijay, and Rohit for most brown). I used to be annoyed I wasn't like everyone else, and just did my best to pretend I was, although somehow I was also annoyed if there were other Indians present, because then I wasn't special anymore. Maybe I'm just easily annoyed.
Not wanting to be thought of as Indian feels a bit like my friend's (can I say who you are, friend?) discomfort anytime someone discusses an Asian fetish. She's Asian, and I can sort of see why this sort of conversation might be troubling - it's sort of depersonalizing. I'd like to think that anyone attracted to me didn't just have an Indian fetish, but is that really so different than liking curly hair or a slim figure? (And shouldn't I just be glad someone's attracted to me at all?) I feel like in most cases these "fetishes" aren't really these mindless impersonal things, right?
Anyway, just wanted to put that out there. Say something interesting in the comments.
(Also, I wouldn't be really male without quickly switching the topic from emotions to technology, so... the Walker exhibit had some bits and pieces she'd typed on index cards. I really love the typewriter aesthetic, and the other week we were noticing how well magnetbox did (lcd soundsystem also has a good analog/kitsch vibe, though not so typewritery). After the exhibit, I started playing with trying to make Courier work harder programatically, rather than using fonts or Photoshop, but the best I could do in the moments I stole yesterday looks super-hokey and only works in Firefox. :( )
the p22 typewriter font is free and is used to be the standard font Larry Lessig would use in his talks. http://www.p22.com/ihof/typewriter.html
ReplyDeletewhat? no random-colored DIVs behind it so you can generate your own ransom notes???
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I'm the aforementioned friend (hello, world!), and Kushal's right, the topic does make me fairly uncomfortable. Even more so when the discussion is literal rather than hypothetical; if they're talking about a real person or acquaintance with such a bent.
ReplyDeleteI find fetishes in general a little bit odd; it means your preference for someone is determined by a singular and usually superficial trait. Ethnic fetishes are probably the worst af, because that's about a trait we have absolutely zero control over: you can change hairstyles, control your body type to some extent via diet, but you can't change your ethnicity. The Asian woman fetish frustrates me because I've been targeted by it at least a few times, and what these guys seem to be seeking (exotic, slim, long-haired, meek) with this marker is not what I can provide.
So that's my theory. In navigating the hazards of the real world, though, I've found that there are guys who are extremely uncomfortable to be around, and those who aren't. Often, I'm helpfully informed by other friends that someone in the former group turns out to have an Asian fetish (which has little correlation to the number of Asian women they've actually dated). I've learned to more or less trust my instincts.
Luckily I don't think about this too often: there are other men, and friends, and things I *like* spending my wandery, jumpy attention on.
since the hubster is white, i am always extra conscious when we walk around, like i wonder if people are like, "there goes another asian fetish dude with his catch." partially because i sometimes think that automatically about other couples i see, which is crazy because i hate the thought of someone thinking that about me.
ReplyDeletei've also found that in the last several years, i've become increasingly comfortable of using the word "white". which is sort of the opposite of your acknowledgement of indianness (big indian or little indian? omg, horrible pun, forget i said that), but i think it's two sides of the same coin. i finally get that i'm not mainstream and not white. i used to never really think of myself as anything, racially, but now that i'm making the distinction of "white" i think it's a subconscious acknowledgement that i am not.
part of it started when i watched "my big fat greek wedding" and i realized that the guy's parents were so.....WHITE. i realized there was no other way to describe it, really. i think that's when i started to say white more.
i even say "white people" to my inlaws. i wonder if that is weird or inappropriate.