Simpsons:
Lisa: I hate going to the zoo. I feel so sorry for the animals.
...
Homer: In the wild, they would never experience boredom, obesity, loss of purpose... you know, the American dream.
New Yorker:
"We have to do something about satellite television to keep society free from this horny jerk-off situation."
For those of you using Google Reader, I wrote a Greasemonkey script that lets you open the current item in a new tab.
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